i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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