i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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