A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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