Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize