I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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