Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
zippers are such a cool invention
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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