they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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