My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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