think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize