Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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  (301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn
  Replies (25) Good night (3248) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  how hairy? two words: wookie tits

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  (415): how hairy? two words: wookie tits http://tfl.nu/0tmt
  Replies (32) Good night (566) Bad night (5574) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.

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  (810): I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself. http://tfl.nu/iwxe
  Replies (65) Good night (1289) Bad night (4928) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

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  (870): These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American. http://tfl.nu/c8e4
  Replies (15) Good night (3874) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  but she was nice to me.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  She was a fuckin STRIPPER.

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  (251): but she was nice to me. (256): She was a fuckin STRIPPER. http://tfl.nu/n11b
  Replies (25) Good night (2218) Bad night (3502)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

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  (847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl
  Replies (47) Good night (13787) Bad night (1228)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.

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  (815): sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/z8wo
  Replies (6) Good night (1826) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it

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  (818): The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it http://tfl.nu/3wsm
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (2579) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.

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  (530): Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking. http://tfl.nu/izw9
  Replies (8) Good night (1372) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.

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  (337): Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one. http://tfl.nu/xgt0
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers

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  (201): So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers http://tfl.nu/32bd
  Replies (11) Good night (399) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.

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  (301): He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship. http://tfl.nu/zlr0
  Replies (7) Good night (827) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

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  (817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w
  Replies (10) Good night (1885) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy

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  (763): I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy http://tfl.nu/fuzq
  Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.

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  (212): LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/na6f
  Replies (5) Good night (1138) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt

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