Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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