I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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