My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize