dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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