I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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