mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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