someone owes me an orgasm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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