your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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