It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize