I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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