I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
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Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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