Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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