she looked like the before picture.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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