if i can run in heels then i can drive
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need a beard to bite.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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