No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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