Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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