I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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