Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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