I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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