Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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