Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
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Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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