Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize