I wish my penis had an off switch
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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