This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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