Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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