the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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