I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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