Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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