They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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