just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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