If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize