I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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