OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
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Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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