hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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