Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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