I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My ATM looks so different sober.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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