I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize