i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize