My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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