Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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